Pero vamos igual.
La protesta viene así.
(era tipo carta complaint)
Dear God,
I´m writing to you in order to complaint about certain things in my life that I don´t agree with. I know that I have signed to the terms and conditions when I started this experience, and that it included a certain ratio of bad experiences. I also understand that bad things in my life were not particularly extraordinary in comparison to other people´s bad experiences, however, I still feel uncomfortable with it.
For starters, I would have like to have a caring father. A father that smiled and shared my happiness, a dad that I could go to whenever I felt bad, and who would express his love to me in a physicall way. I´m not sure of how the physicall thing works in this experience, and I´m pretty sure that parents play a good deal of part in the teaching of that part of the experience. I only learned physicall love from my mum, and altogether was not really much of a good experience. So, that´s one of the things I would like to complaint. Now, how do you make up for the missing fatherness, I don´t know. But I would really like to have somebody to teach me how to handle non-sexual physicall love with men.
On a second place, I didn´t have friends when I was little. That would be again, due to my father. And my mother who didn´t put a stop to and fed his ackwardness. And also, my first lesbian experience who also put a stop to the possibilities of having friends. May be if I had more "normal" friends, I wouldn´t have learned the throb of passion. This is something that in the end was normalizad, I did have friends at a later time in life, and learned what it is to have a sister that was not born in my family. What I need to learn now, is to visit regularly all the other friends who are not brothers and sisters... which is what I learned at home. That visiting friends is not allowed.
Third, I didn´t learn how to discipline myself. That is something that was not my parent´s fault, both of them tried but I was too passively rebelious to learn it. So, I don´t know how to work it out.
Fourth. I lost my mum. I understand this is something that was stated not in the fine print, but on the regular printing of the terms and conditions. That eventually, be it accidentally or for regular physical failure, parents will die. Anyways, I still don´t want to miss my mum. She's not here to see me, to tell me what to do, to advise me what not to do, to judge my behaviour and attempt to make me a better person. What is more, I don´t have (because I don't want to) any body else to do it. She's also not here to cook, or wash or fix my clothes. Which was a way to show love, besides the hugs and kisses.
Fifth. This is just about comfort. I would have liked to have grown up with that father who would enjoy my happiness and be sad at my sadness, so as to grow a sense of self confidence… That way, I would have gone for what I wanted, and achieve it, just because I actually can. But as it is, I have grown up with the idea that urgency is the only important thing, that just "wanting" something was not reason enough to fight for it. Therefore, I have no goals. and if I have them, I don't value them, which results in leaving the goals behind. When I said this is about comfort, it´s just that I think I can still change the focus and attempt to manage goals. Anyways I still think I need a little help in that too.
Now, usually when a person sets out a complaint such as this one, the company would regularly remark that all of this was the subject's responsibility, and at no point an obligation of the company. Well, you're not a company. You are god. And of course you care. Your objective when you created this project, was to learn and enjoy. I now need your help to be able to fulfill what you have set for me.
I would really appreciate a response, no matter if really soon, but for sure not really late. With all the faith that you have heard me,
yours trully,
V Bagnasco.
Annayra.
Your daughter.
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